After 831, 929, etc. I had this feeling that I might never be able to speak again, because i felt so heavy, inside.
In many difficult times, one of the few things i do to take my mind off crazy news is actually writing to my pen friend.
But as things get worse, I sometimes feel like this is NOT something someone who is not currently experiencing it/going through it could understand. i still try to tell him about everything that has been happening, and i know he follows closely through social media too, which is really amazing.
You know when things get really really bad, it doesn't mean it's hopeless. And I truly believe that no party, no matter how strong, can rule forever, and they also must have their instability too - as long as there are human beings, there are power struggles. and that absolutely no social/political movement felt like FULL OF HOPE during the process of fighting.
One of the saddest thing from watching the press conference is that feeling, of knowing many more people, including ourselves might get hurt in the coming days (and many has been hurt badly too) - sad for the ruler's ruthlessness, and unreasonableness.
The current HK feels like when WWII was about to start, and people 意識到 our happiness can be stripped away for a long time.
Either the battle and bloodshed continue for decades,
OR, that govt and china wins and we forever live without freedom.
Either way = our lives will be changed forever.