痛苦

omg i am suffering from so much pain (but only at night now) 

i want to hit my bone. 

I learnt something new: 

If it feels like you’re more sensitive to post-workout aches at certain times of day, or your sore back or headache worsens just as you’re trying to fall asleep, it’s probably not your imagination.

We sometimes think that pain is controlled by an on/off switch — sit at a computer too long and you get a headache, take an ibuprofen and it goes away.

But the reality is much more complex, especially for people with chronic pain conditions.

The whole body has a circadian rhythm, which is set by the cycle of day and night, along with other factors. But individual cells, including neurons, can have their own circadian rhythm — and these may or may not be in sync with the body. Different pain conditions show different patterns of pain throughout the day.

I want to read, write and draw about the poor animals, walk the hilly roads in the chilly night instead, but i am completely drowned by this sharp pain, it makes me want to cry.

It might pass. (In case you want to suggest, I tried CBD oil, GF diet etc.)

I nearly cried this afternoon, when dealing with some helpless situation of not being able to rescue a dog/cat from a miserable abusive situation, it's our norm, so don't be too surprised. What I wanted to say was, my cat was super sweet, whenever he sees me suffering, real suffering, not little suffering, he'd be sure to be close to me; he sat right in front of me, kissed my nose & mouth, purred..... It was a long day of phone-marathon, at least I cleared lots of administration work, and done a lovely media interview.

I am currently working on a new little illustrated story project, of something I care about dearly.

一面做的感想： 

我好想話你知佢哋好好but they are not.... 

令我想起我當時做貓狗animal rescue 的繪本，

當時我一邊做一邊感到好痛苦，雖然我日日都接觸呢個議題，但做落還是覺得好痛苦

可能當義工，不會那麼重無力感，只係睇餸食飯： 有隻受傷的狗，就想怎樣救。 

但去諗一個故事/ picturebook/ or whatever 呢類，就好輕易覺得問題好大，能力好少。或好多人都寫了做了很多，花了好多心機的documentary 咁，但個message 好像都未pass 到去好多好多人度。

咁當然我唔會因為感覺痛苦唔做。

但今日有人同我講，佢想做啲 - 給世界希望 (something like that）嘅繪本  or stories....

但我諗啲大嶼山水牛、dolphin 嘅世界真係無乜希望

（可能香港人都係）

（當然啲水牛同dolphin 未必知佢哋生存在絕望嘅邊緣 (we might not know too))

白海豚只係得返三十幾隻 除 咗 起 三 跑 / 港 珠 澳 大 橋 嘅 沙 泥 佢哋面對最大嘅問題，也包括高速船 都唔係咁難明，啲人唔諗吓如果第二種生物統領咗地球 or CCP, 佢今日話要浸你半間屋，聽日話要浸多你半間屋，話會rehome 你去第二度， 你就只能啞忍接受， 佢會話「人類適應力好高，無問題的」真係無問題咩