sun. shine. on. me

This morning, I saw myself in the mirror, and thought, how insignificant I am, among the 6,800,000,000 population in the world, each with their own dreams and uniqueness. But on a second thought, MAYBE.... it's not that bad, because there's only one, single, me, special me. 
There was another special encounter this morning, through a very cute baby, chatted with a beautiful Music Professor at Pyard. Off to Dean Gallery and the Scottish Contemporary Art Gallery now, I don't even know why I am going there, maybe the sunshine the river and the landscape? Hope it'd be nice : ) 
Shall I get you, Issey Miyake? 

Daffodil, lavender, sunshine and lemon

Guilt. This was where my sadness branched from. Even though I have all the reasons to justify my act. 

Most of my group mates worked overnight in the studio, although this is only the first review. totally unnecessary. People always love to exaggerate on workload instead of working efficiently. I see no correlation between the number of working hours and the amount of work produced.

So naturally I didn't join them both last night and this morning, as I find it totally pointless and wasting my youth, (also other reasons, like their lack of punctuality) 

I love the team spirit of working overnight together, complaining etc. but NO. 休想

Note: the photo consists of a lot of sugar, readers are encouraged against physical consumption, enjoy it visually instead. 


Anyways, today would have been one of my prototypical perfect day, apart from the the overhanging cloud casted by the unjustified guilt


Warm sunshine shone on my face all morning, half-conscious at 7 am = my most productive time of the day
Received an email from the Children's book artist's assistant I worked for in Japan, they will write me a reference letter AND will be exhibiting in Paris on 19th March, 2010; (my final crit is on 17th March) meaning I will GO TO PARIS AND MEET THEM! 
SO this morning, there was a baby black labrador outside Peter's yard, waiting for her owner, she (the dog) got so excited during our brief chat , but started leaning on me once calmed down... that's how baby girl dogs are like.


Later on, a very pretty girl, that looked totally French with huge eyes and tall nose started chatting with me, she's German, doing Phd here in Edinburgh on the *History of the Book* lol, she worked in a Children's Publisher for TWO years in Germany before coming there.


Had Bean + potato soup for lunch; Went back to studio, had lecture; viewing the castle at the calming outsider; had Beetroot coleslaw and bread as dinner; then YOGA! yayayayaya YOGA! 


Dissertation, no conclusion. 
sleep early wake early! 

Punctuated. breathe.

Had another extremely wonderful afternoon in Peter's Yard, it's becoming addictive, and I badly need to sleep early. As I really wanna have early breakfast there before the sky brightens, they open at 7 am. I love the people there too, they genuinely wanna be friends with you, not just some marketing tactics. We went to Starbucks first, then got so suffocated and moved to Peter's Yard, loved the airiness and serenity there, a very carefully curated interior marked with sophisticated sense of materiality. 


Anyways, I really wanted to sleep really early tonight, but it's midnight already, it's precisely when I push myself to sleep, I counter-convince myself with concrete work to prove that I am still up for a reason! I don't understand this!
So probably this is one of the evenings that I have done the largest amount of work: which is - wrote three formal emails - to further facilitate my formal endeavors in the coming months.


Anyways, badly need a to-do list, even though since LPC, I know so well that to-do list is purely a list, like Angel (Cheung) and I both concluded, the process of listing is sort of comforting, it's a obsessive compulsive act.... But we never look back onto that particular list as we move on...


1. Sleep
2. Have Breakfast
3. Read my very interesting book for my very interesting essay
4. Draw a postcard and write the Japanese words on it, and mail it
5. Meet Stuart
6. Write traveloguesssssss for magazine! 
7. Illustrate my stories
8. Plan my graduation trip
9. Do design project? 
10. Finish my meaningless application
11. I still haven't decided whether to keep my dress, help...
12. Find out the address


the list goes on, dun underestimate those trivial items


Tomorrow will be a long day..... 
I guess I need yoga to calm myself down, focus just on breathing, and fall asleep now. 

Dance like nobody's watching!

Tell me, who would not love contemporary dance?


Contemporary dance classes at dance base has started three weeks already, but this was the FIRST time I went, there must be sth wrong with me! Remember in the past, I always struggled whether to go or not, as it's on THURSDAY night (night before tutorial/crit) at 20:30, way too late in my standard. But what always motivated me to go - was the memory of the amazing feeling after each class! 



Dance to me is like painting to (unnamed person who is still sleeping, therefore still need to ask for approval)


"I wanna paint. But without you, my motivation is not high enough, (...) it never occurs to me that I will be interested in painting. I think it is even better than writing. Usually, when I write, I am in really bad mood or confusion, as I write, I pour out all my thoughts in head. Sometimes it is painstaking. You have to confornt all the evils in your heart and you feel drained. I think painting, like what Blink said, is happened behind the locked door. You just let mind lead you. You are so focus/blank out on each move. No constraint. No need to worry about the handwriting, grammar, try to descibe something you simply dun understanding to reach a comfortable conclusion to console yourself." 


I guess that's how dancing is to me, so free, so emotional, full of expressions free of grammar. I love painting too, unluckily I must say, it probably does have some grammar to me, can't reach that state of totally carefreeness. 


I was thinking to myself, I wish I could come dance every night! Yes, even though I love yoga to the bits too, but don't be mistaken, I don't love everything! There are other kinda dances I have tried before that I very dislike, but thanks to Niki who recommended Contemporary dance to me! She said it'd suit me, and I totally see why. 


Contemporary dance is sometimes ground hugging, and high-reaching, personally I find it resemble yoga moves. But best of all, it's full of freedom to express. It's exciting. Often half way through the class, we line up in one corner, and walk diagonally towards the other corner, then start adding movesss, then forming a dance, in pairs. two by two, together with LIVE music. So cool ! like a catwalk! 


The whole room is like a nursery classroom :P fill with laughter, mistakes, tripping over, jumping, music, simple simple joys.................. instantly back to childhood

Breathtaking Simplicity

The other night, we had long chats in our friend's living room - on architecture. on Naoshima. Seto Inland Sea. Miranda talked about the piece of architecture that touched her to tears. 
Yes. heart-beat, teary-eyes sensation
SANAA you are too ging, we love you! lol

Just like reading "JA" and El Croquis on Japan architecture, makes your heart beat. Frankly, I am not big big fans of architecture. Before ET and Seto Inland, (and I am not lying, if you know me, I must have somehow said it to you before) - I often feel like -"I have never seen a piece of architecture that TOUCHED me") -
"Which is your favouite building?" "Who's your favourite architect?"
I always see many famous building being famous only because, they marked some turning point in the history of architecture... and to people without architectural education - because they are irregular, they are pretty? Or because they used titanium to make a light floor that is removable but never removed in its lifespan? 


But! the small primary schools in Japan, simple marine port... white residents stuck in the middle of dense urban scape...so intelligent, so smart - never ceased to tempt you to inhabit the space, like a string pulling you! that is attraction. 
The serenity, connection between interior and exterior, calmness, lightness... subtle undulating concrete ground.... it's a very zen feeling, like a perfect space for yoga. 


If there's one reason I am still studying architecture, I must be inflamed and inspired by Japan, as if there's still some hope shining through the tiny tiny cracks on the ground. We do sometimes ponder on tutors preference. But think about it, this is my probably my last architectural project in life, and I will do I what I like. I come here not to study somebody else's taste and preference! : )


Hello my linguist, artist, musician, sociologist.. or-whatever-other-professions-friends - why not treat your eyes a delicious trip to a Page One or the library - let your mind wander off the colourful pages - a magical box that contains the architects' years of struggles and innovations! 

Food for this week

One piece of news that got on Yahoo!US this week was about a mom who managed to half her family's annual grocery bill by planning dinner ahead for a YEAR!

I don't think I could do that, but I very much want to plan ahead for a whole week as well, instead of wandering endlessly in supermarkets, kept getting distracted, and bought things home but couldn't finish eating them! Also last week, wasn't the best, in terms of my healthy life plan, have space to improve, so today, I did food shopping for the whole week. I never knew that could happen to me, cuz I always wanted to just follow my heart, eat what I wanna eat that day, which is pretty wrong. End up spending more, and eating something not as good. Now though, I realize it's possible for me to follow plans : )

Still need to get 小白菜，帆立貝和魚。明天早上去買魚。明天下午去Glasgow. 冬天，煲湯好呢。

(the food in the pic is mainly mine, not that much really, even though it seems a lot hahaha, but I often cook for Phoebe as well : )

Lots of delicious healthy meals : )

Bake a (relatively) better cake

There are a few very low-fat. low-sugar. low kcal cakes recipes that I want to try baking. In case sometimes I want to eat cakes, these recipes will bake cakes that probably that are too rough, and made me decide i dun wanna have cakes anymore LOL :P normal cakes are just way too over, only fat, butter + sugar.... scary! not even ok to have it as a treat once awhile. There are also recipes I found that are to the other extreme - meaning it has no sugar, butter, eggs at all, wonder how they taste!

If I bake one of these to dinner party with my host family, will it scare them?

Low-Fat Lemon Tofu Cheesecake

16oz silken tofu

1/3 cup sugar

1/2 teaspoon salt

2 tablespoons lemon juice

1 teaspoon lemon zest

1/2 teaspoon almond extract

2 tablespoons cornstarch

2 tablespoons soymilk

Prep a 9 inch springform pan by spraying the bottom and sides with nonstick oil spray.

Tip digestive cookies crumb into the prepped springform pan and press it evenly on the bottom.

Bake the crust for 5 minutes, then remove it from the oven and set it aside to cool while you prepare the filling.

Blend all the filling ingredients in a food processor (or blender) for about 30 seconds, or until smooth.

Pour filling into the springform pan over the cooled crust.

Bake for about 30 minutes or until the top of the cheesecake is lightly browned.

Remove the cheesecake from the oven and allow it to cool.

Place the cooled cheesecake in the refrigerator for at least 2 hours until it is thoroughly chilled and firm.

To serve, take a long knife and heat the blade in hot hot water.

Slide the blade of the knife along the edge of the cooled cheesecake to ensure that it will separate from the pan.

Release the springform ring, slice, sprinkle with slivered almonds if desired and serve cold.

Tofu Cheesecake

For Filling:

2 cups Silken Tofu, drained well

1/2 lb Cream Cheese, softened at room temperature

1 c. Sugar

2 Large Eggs, beaten

1/2 c. Fat free or Low Fat Yogurt

1/2 tsp Vanilla Extract

1 tsp Lemon Juice

1/4 c. Cornstarch

Ingredients (makes 1-8" Cheesecake, about 8 servings):

For Crust:

10 Vanilla Cream Sandwich Cookies

2 Tbsp Butter

Preheat the oven to 350F.

Crush vanilla cookies well. (You could do this by using food processor or placing cookies in a Ziploc bag and crushing them with small pot or frying pan.)

In a mixing bowl, add crushed cookies and melted butter, mix them together. The mixture will start to crumble and come together. Press the mixture on the bottom of 8” non-stick springform cake pan. Bake at 350F for few minutes until they are golden brown. Let it cool at room temperature. Reduce the oven temperature to 325F.

In a large bowl, whisk tofu and cream cheese together. Add sugar, eggs and mix until they are well blended. Add yogurt, vanilla extract, lemon juice and continue to mix well. Add cornstarch and mix until the batter becomes smooth.

Pour the batter into the prepared pan. Bake at 325F for approximately 50 minutes or until the center of the cake is set. You can check this by inserting a toothpick in the middle of the cake. If the toothpick comes out clean, it’s done.

Let it cool at room temperature for a couple of hours. Then refrigerate overnight.